We Fight Over The Stupidest Things
by April5
Summary: Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Anya are having a conversation on MSN and Xander says something, Willow makes a remark, and they fight. *Completely AU*


We Fight Over The Stupidest Things- By April

Summary: Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Anya are having a conversation on MSN and Xander says something, Willow makes a remark, and they fight. *Completely AU*

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, wish I did, but if I did, the Spuffy people would kill me. 

Rating: I'm gonna go with PG-13 on this one. I guess it's because of the language and scary talk.

Author's Note: Buffy, Xander, and Willow have been best friends for about 2 years while they just met Anya at the beginning of school. Xander and Anya never dated. Spike and Anya are cousins, Spike is human. This conversation is based on one of me and my friends.

  
Buffy clicks on MSN messenger and the sign up screen pops up. She types in her e-mail and password and signs in. It shows that Willow, Xander, and Anya are all online. They soon add her into their conversation…

Xander: Hey Buff! What's up?

Willow: Hey, Buffy!

Anya: Spike wants to know where you are again…

Buffy: Hey Xand, hey Will. AGAIN! I thought he was over me.

Anya: Got sick of his stupid ho.

Willow: OMG! I'm so mad at Oz right now!

Xander: Spike? Huh? Ok, fill me in.

Buffy: Anya told me that Spike told her he loved me. Then he told me and we argued for hours and hours about it. He asked me out, I turned him down, and he's being a jackass about it.

Xander: Ok…

Willow: Ok, I see no one cares.

Anya: What? We care…what are you mad about again?

Willow: Oz! He hasn't called me all day! He won't even talk to me!

Anya: Ok…

Xander: Hey, I've gotta go. Later peeps.

Willow: Later peeps? Oh my god! How dumb is that?

Xander: Ok, later you guys!

Anya: Later is so yesterday.

Buffy: And Johnny Depp is so today! He is so hot!

Willow: I know!

Xander: Ok, I'm going now. Later.

Willow: Later closet boy. (A/N- inside joke that only Willow and Buffy get)

Buffy: OMG! LOL! OMG!

Willow: LMAO!

Anya (realizes): OMG! LOL!

Xander: What? What?

Buffy: Xander, sweetie, you know how they refer to people who haven't came out 'in the closet'?! She's calling you gay.

Xander: Well, at least I'm not a shemale!

Buffy: OMG! Go Xander!

Willow: I am SO not a shemale! You jackass.

Anya: Xander, that was mean!

Buffy: *hits head on desk*

Buffy: *hits head on desk*

Willow: LOL to Buffy!

Buffy: Ouch…my head hurts now.

Xander: I AM NOT GAY!

Willow: Yes you are! And I am not a shemale! I am all female, wanna see?

Anya: *covers eyes*]

Buffy: *hits head on desk*

Xander: I'm too scared that your dick might hit me!

Willow: Everyone knows that nobody in this conversation is of the male gender.

Buffy: Oh. My. God.

Anya: OMG! Go Willster!

Buffy: Someone shoot me.

Xander: Nah, I'd rather shoot Willow right about now! I mean! She called me closet boy!

Willow: Yeah, but men are supposed to be all manly and take it.

Xander: Yeah, except when in comes to shopping.

Buffy: Ok…

Anya: What the hell?

Xander: Willow, how about I shove my dick down your throat?!

Willow: Go ahead, I'd just spit it back up and cut it off.

Xander: Whatever.

Buffy: OMG! LOL!

Anya: Are you two having cyber sex?

Willow: NO! HELL NO! Ok, I think I'm gonna be sick!

Xander: I'm right behind you on that one.

Anya: Buffy, he's behind her!

Willow: I'm even sicker now!

Xander: Anya! That was just gross!

Buffy: LOL Anya!

Xander: I still say Willow is a shemale!

Willow: I think he's hallucinating from the loss of that VERY small dick he had.

Xander: I have it back on now. It's called superglue.

Willow: I HATE SUPERGLUE!

Buffy: OK WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP? I MEAN WE ARGUE OVER THE STUPIDEST THINGS! AND IF I HAVE TO HIT MY HEAD ON THE DESK ONE MORE TIME…SOMEONE'S GETTING HURT!

Anya: Go Buffy!

Willow: LOL Buffy!

Xander: We'll be good now. But you guys, I have to go now. Later.

Buffy: Later friend.

Anya: I still say later is yesterday. Johnny Depp is so today!

Buffy: I know! He's so hot!

Anya: I know!

Xander: No, I am so today.

Buffy: Get over yourself, Xand.

Xander: Can't a guy dream of having his dream girl?!

Buffy: I'm sorry Xander, you still can't have me.

Xander: A guy can try, can't he?

Willow: They're so cute. I still say she should go out with Spike.

Anya: I know! I mean, Xander, he's a loser!

Buffy: Remember basketball season…

Willow: When the shorts were too tight!? OMG! LOL!

Anya: Damn! I missed that one.

Xander: Would you two stop bringing that up?

Buffy: Too bad he doesn't have the ass off of the Levi's commercial.

Willow: Put that with Johnny Depp and you have a DREAM GUY! Too bad I'm taken.

Buffy: Too bad the guy isn't real…

Anya: I still say you should go out with Spike.

Buffy: NO! I don't see him like that. Plus, he's got his little ho.

Xander: Who's his ho?

Buffy: Cordelia.

Xander: Point taken. I've really gotta go now. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. Bye.

Buffy: Bye Xander.

Willow: Bye Xander.

Anya: I HATE CORDELIA! She's a slut!

Willow: I know!

* Xander has left the conversation *

Buffy: I hate her more than Harmony!

Willow: Me too, and I hate Harmony A LOT!

Anya: Harmony is still trying to get me to talk to her! She is SOOO annoying!

Buffy: Block her like we did! Duh!

Willow: Yeah! Well, I've gotta go too.

Buffy: Yeah, so do I. I'm hungry.

Anya: I'm gonna go count my money.

Willow: AGAIN!?

Buffy: Bye you guys.

Anya: Bye Buffy.

Willow: See ya Buff!

* Buffy has left the conversation *

So what do you guys think? Please review!


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